


A Sense of Calm (The Before the Storm Remix)

by navaan



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Captain America Vol. 5 (2005), Complicated Relationships, Foreshadowing, Getting Together, Iron Man Vol. 4 (2004), Iron Man: Execute Program, M/M, Pre-Civil War (Marvel), Remix, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:43:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13547574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: The events ofExecute Programlead to something more developing between Steve and Tony – but Registration is brewing and Tony keeps his secrets.





	A Sense of Calm (The Before the Storm Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [What You Don't Know (The Things Left Unsaid Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13479030) by [a_salty_alto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_salty_alto/pseuds/a_salty_alto). 



> This relay is part of a chain; you can find the full [masterlist](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Cap_Ironman_Relay_Remix_2018/profile) on the Collection profile page.

It went like this:

Tony got hacked.

But Tony Stark didn't _just_ get hacked. He was Iron Man and not too long ago, he'd reached the next level of his existence as both Tony and Iron Man. He wasn't just the man in the armor anymore – he _was_ the armor. Hell, thanks to Extremis, he was the whole armory! 

All it took now was a thought to crush his enemies in more than one place at the same time.

Extremis had saved his life and with the alterations he'd made to it, the virus had brought him to the peak of what was currently possible for Iron Man. Extremis had enhanced Tony in every way - or rather had made him a better Iron Man. But the man inside of the shell of armor was still the same sad faulty human being he'd always been. Even when he strove to be better, he'd been so blinded by progress and the new possibilities of Extremes that he'd missed the part where he still was the same old Tony Stark underneath.

When Tony Stark slipped up it had a way of getting bad.

When Iron Man failed it had a way of being dangerous.

But when you put Extremis and all the power it had given him into the mix, things got more than dangerous. So when Tony got hacked, it wasn't just bad – it was catastrophic. He'd hurt – _killed_ – a lot of people while someone else was in the driver’s seat, making Tony a toll in a quest for revenge.

It was on Tony that it had been possible. He should have known. He should have noticed the backdoor that had been implanted in his fucking brain. He blamed himself for not noticing, for being too stupid to make himself safe. How many scans had he run on himself since Extremis? How could he have missed something of this magnitude?

He knew of course. He had retraced every step to make sure he understood and knew how this had happened and make sure that nothing like this could ever happen again.

How could he walk away from this as if everything was fine?

The truth was he couldn't. And the truth was he shouldn't.

And suddenly he saw many of the papers that had passed his desk in one form or another in the past few days in a new light. Too many incidents were piling up and Tony understood that something big was coming. He didn't need the speed of an Extremis enhanced brain to compute the data.

He was accountable for what he did as Iron Man. He needed to take responsibility for what he had allowed to happen.

They all needed to be ready if they wanted to keep the trust of the public – if they wanted to deserve it.

Because right now the trust I superheroes was dwindling.

And Tony knew it was coming, knew that power and politics were working hand in hand – only waiting for when the time was right to strike against them. Someone needed to be there to steer those with the authority to pass legislation away from the more dangerous lines of thinking that Tony knew had been brewing for years. He knew what lives the X-Men led and he knew the lengths some people wanted to go to prove mutants were nothing more than nature's mistake of the moment – anything but the future. Superheros weren't safe when the same people wanted to make sure they'd be forced to fall into line. Tony was too much of a futurist not to know where all of this could lead: A world where politicians and military operatives got to set the rules for what superheroes could be.

He'd seen it before.

They had all seen it before.

Suddenly he craved a drink - the bitter taste of alcohol on his tongue and the calming effect when the stress fell away. But no. Long ago he'd wrestled back control from the addiction and he knew the promise of calm was a mirage. He needed to keep it together.

Because people needed to trust him.

He needed to do the right thing.

And this was how Tony ended up knocking on Steve's door.

The door opened and Steve looked at him with a hint of surprised distrust until he realized it was Tony standing there in the super secret hallway, of the super secret staircase to Steve's super secret SHIELD assigned Brooklyn apartment.

“I didn't recognize you with the blond hair,” Steve joked with deadpan voice and a slightly stern look and Tony smiled nervously. They hadn't been on good terms as of late.

Since Extremis.

Steve didn't trust Extremis.

“Sorry,” Tony shot back. “I haven't had time yet to change back the color. The things you do when you're on the run, huh?”

It was a bad joke and he regretted it the moment it slipped out. But he had been on the run, trying to prove his innocence first and then trying to solve the problem of being made a mindless weapon like an engineer. He wondered why he was here. Why this was the first place he wanted to go when he was struggling, but deep down he knew: Sooner or later he needed to tell Steve what was coming. He should be telling him right now.

The words didn't want to come though.

Steve was still looking for his old pal Bucky who'd been turned into a mindless assassin, and at the same time fighting off his usual Hydra fueled band of rogues. The way Tony had heard Steve was also fighting his own tug of war with Maria Hill who was trying to temporarily fill Nick's shoes at SHIELD. Anger and frustration had been boiling under the surface of Steve's mostly calm exterior for months now.

Recently Tony had heard some about the times that SHIELD had felt they needed to rein him in because Cap was getting reckless in the field.

All of them needed someone to pull them back from the edge before they'd go too far sometimes. It was only human to toe the line.

“Actually,” Steve started slowly, but then closed his mouth as if he wanted to choose his words more carefully and stepped aside to let him into the apartment that Tony had never even been to before. _We used to spend so much time together and now we only call when we need something or when it's about Avengers business._

The first thing he expected Steve to ask was: “How did you know about the apartment?” 

“I’m sorry to intrude,” he said to sort of apologize for it before the accusations could start up.

Steve closed the door carefully and said: “Actually, this is perfect timing.” His eyes were still glued to Tony’s cleanly shaven chin as if the lack of facial hair was more confusing than the blond hair.

“It is?” He couldn’t think of a reason why. “What do you need? Did you find any traces of your lost… of Barnes?” He had offered to help before.

“You stopped your own heart, Tony,” Steve said as if he wasn't quite sure what to think of that. “To save me.”

Tony knew exactly what to think of that. He remembered Steve’s head grasped in gigantic armor hands that he’d built. He’d do it again. Any day. It was hard enough to live with the things he’d done, but what would he have done if he’d watched him get killed by one of his own armors.

“There really was no choice.” Even the thought of Steve - crushed and lifeless - scared him to death, but that wasn't why he was here. He wanted to talk to Steve about what was coming.

Then Steve was in his space and Extremis threw all kinds of data at him, calculating how he needed to sidestep to escape an assault or collision, but his brain froze with the surprise and inability to read Steve’s intentions. _I need to tell him. But he’s still angry. He still hasn’t said his part about Extremis. I never really let him… Because…_

Because he hated it when Steve doubted him, when Steve looked at him and all that glanced back at Tony was disappointment. 

He had made a step forward in his own evolution that Steve would have to deal with even if he didn't like it, but even Tony had to admit that the terrible consequences of the last days weren't exactly a recommendation for what he'd become now. They would have to cope though. Tony had learned his lesson. He was always trying to learn his lessons. 

A cloud of anger passed over Steve's face and their faces were so close he could feel Steve's breath ghost over his cheeks. It made him shiver. 

Tony braced himself for the argument he knew was coming, but that he didn't have time for right now. In the haze of thoughts racing and Steve suddenly being close enough for a round of hand-to-hand-combat training, Extremis failed him. Too many evasive maneuvers presented themselves at once and that was why Tony didn't move at all when Steve pushed forward, pushed, leaned in...

And then they were kissing.

Kissing as if Tony had always known this was coming.

He hadn't.

And yet he had always wanted it.

His arms came up to wrap around Steve's shoulders and to cling, and claw, and Steve's arms echoed the motion as they wound around his midsection and pulled him closer. Extremis was throwing readings his way that made no sense at all and too much sense altogether, data about heart rates and respiration - and he pushed it to the back of his mind to allow himself to feel it, to not miss the moment, as kisses turned hot and heated – and maybe a touch too forceful and desperate and angry.

“Tony,” Steve gasped against his lips, like a warning – and that was what pulled Tony out of the moment. Suddenly Extremis was back up front and center; he noticed Steve's heartbeat, he noticed the tight jeans and the shirt like Steve had been ready to go out, noticed the empty coffee cup on the kitchen table, the manila folder beside it with the SHIELD logo on it. 

Barnes.

Steve was still looking for the Winter Soldier.

And for his part Tony was still here to talk about all the things that were negatively impacting public opinion on superheroes.

He stepped back and Steve let him pull away, his eyes wide and alert as he watched him, his breathing calming like he was controlling himself. “I'm sorry, Tony.”

But Extremis wasn't done with gathering information: No trace of Sharon in the flat; no second cup, no clothes, no items that weren't obviously Steve's. 

Steve was still talking to him: “I read this wrong. I thought... I'm not sure what I thought. I just thought...”

 _Lonely. Steve is lonely,_ Tony realized and it blew his mind away that someone like Steve would ever be lonely. Not that it came as a surprise. Steve had lost so much and as a younger man, sometimes, Tony had been allowed to see the cracks, the doubts, the moping. 

“It's okay,” he said, and didn't add: _I'm lonely too._

This time he leaned in and kissed Steve and Steve's arms came up again to hold him and Tony let the kiss get heated faster, kissed the way he kissed when he meant to seduce, turn up the heat. He wasn't going to deny Steve anything, least of all something Tony wanted, too. Saying he'd never thought of getting closer to Steve would be lying.

And he wouldn't lie about _this_.

 _You should tell him_ , the voice of reason reminded him, treacherous thing that it was. _You need to tell him what's coming first._

 _No_ , Tony disagreed. _There won't be this after he finds out I'm involved with the politics that are cooking up this storm. And I can still stop this. Registration might never happen. And whatever - at least we'll have had this moment. Maybe it will soften the blow. Maybe it will help, when push comes to shove._

With Extremis' strength he pushed Steve towards the sofa, enjoyed the way Steve's eyes widened when he realized that Tony could stand up to him now in some ways. They fell down on the leather sofa together – Tony on top, limbs tangled, hands roaming.

He gasped and moaned and Steve, held him, held him like he was precious, like he was needed and wanted. Their bodies fit together like their lips and - Extremis singing in his veins of _love, love, love, need_ \- Tony gave himself over to the sensation.

Somewhere in the haze of pleasure, when he was moving in Steve's lap, when orgasm was edging closer for both of them, he remembered his reason for being here: the noose that was tightening about every superhero's neck that they'd only shake if they were careful, responsible, cunning.

All thoughts of it went out of his head right after, when Steve's fingers squeezed his buttocks and pulled him into just the perfectly right position to make both of them lose themselves.

* * *

Tony stared at Steve's sleeping form. He was curled up on his side and sleeping tightly, knowing that Tony would guard his sleep.

Trust.

 _You don' deserve it_ Tony thought. _You never did. He shouldn't trust you._

Extremis told him that Secretary Kooning was trying to reach him again and Tony knew he wasn't going to take the call. Not today. There were still other options today. If Tony played his cards right, he might be able to stop the wrong voices from making superhero registration happening. 

Absentmindedly, he stroked his fingers through Steve's hair. 

He knew where he stood on the issue: Heroes – Tony, everyone - weren't above anyone else. They needed to be accountable for their actions. Because when any one of them failed – people got hurt. 

He knew how Steve would react when this got out. He knew on what side Steve would fall in this. 

Better to curb the issue before public opinion completely turned on them, before politicians pushed their own agenda too far and took matters out of their hands. Tony could still turn this around, could still keep it sensible. He wasn't the only person who knew what was brewing.

He kept staring at Steve's relaxed face feeling like they wouldn't be here if Steve knew what Tony was already working on.

* * *

On day three, he ignored another of Kooning's calls while he and Reed discussed the newest developments that concerned the push for superhero registratio. Tony's hair was black again and his beard was a mere shadow. He had placed his phone on the table where he could look at the calls coming in, as if he still _needed_ it.

“Have you told Sue?” he asked, because he was still trying to figure out how he was going to tell Steve without destroying this fragile thing he hadn't put a name to yet.

Reed could be the most oblivious to other people's personal matters when he was focused on the problem at hand, but his gaze turned on Tony, sharp as a knife. “No,” he said. “There's nothing to tell yet.”

It was the lie that Tony had been trying to convince himself of. He nodded.

On the table his phone buzzed again. Steve's face appeared and he knew Reed could see it.

“This is is the third time he's calling,” Reed pointed out.

“He'd use other channels if it were about a world ending threat.” He grabbed the phone and considered answering. 

“Does he know?” Reed asked and there was something in his gaze that spoke of hidden knowledge. Tony knew the look, because sometimes he caught it in the mirror. 

“No.”

Reed studied him as if he knew something else was being left unsaid and that was unsettling. “This might be good for both of you,” he said cryptically, but didn't elaborate.

Tony didn't ask either.

He wasn't sure he could deal with an answer.

* * *

Carol Danvers was the one who put two and two together when she caught them at Stark Tower on day five. Steve's hand brushed against Tony's innocently enough, but the smile gave them away. The pang of regret he felt when Steve smiled at him happily took Tony by surprise.

Maybe that was what Carol noticed more than the casual touch.

She hugged Tony and whispered in his ear: “Are you two together?” 

He shrugged, because he had no idea how to answer. He had no right to Steve. He had no intention to leave him either.

“He seems very happy,” Carol said and grinned.

His throat was so dry that he didn't even try for a comeback.

* * *

By the end of the week, Tony found himself sitting in bed again, Steve curled up by his side, peacefully asleep. 

Kooning was calling and Extremis rerouted the call as always. One day soon he would have to answer, if he didn't want to loose the chance to write the bill that could change their lives forever before someone else did it.

But Steve would disapprove.

He should tell Steve what was coming. But right now he looked so calm. He didn't want to take that away, make him worry, force the two of them to disagree.

 _You were always a coward, Tony,_ he thought. _At least own it._

He slipped out of bed and gathered his clothes. It had become a habit, that he would slip out of Steve's flat while he was still sleeping. 

In the bathroom mirror, he caught a glimpse of himself and whispered: “What the hell are you looking at?” 

For a moment he allowed himself to imagine going back to the bedroom and telling Steve some of the things he'd heard in closed meetings and nondescript government offices. “Why didn't you tell me?” the Steve in his imagination asked with a closed off expression that was worse than the angry tone. Disappointment.

“Hey.”

He looked up to see Steve standing in the door, hair tousled with sleep. 

“Hey,” he echoed and tried to smile.

“Sneaking out again?”

“The busy lives of superheros,” he said and shrugged.

Steve smiled, indulgent enough to let him get away with the half-truth. 

“Can I make you breakfast?”

Tony blinked. Breakfast. Was that even what they had here – the kind of thing where you had breakfast together?

“You know? The food you eat in the morning with your coffee?” 

He must be staring like an idiot, but he could not look away from Steve's face, trying to search his gaze to find a map for the unknown.

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked and bit his lip. _Don't be an idiot_ , he thought. _You can't stay._

“I'd like it very much if you stayed,” Steve said with that enticing half-grin. “And more importantly, I think you'd like it too.”

He swallowed. “I wouldn't want you to be lonely,” he said and tried to make it sound like a joke.

Steve took it as the perfect invitation to lean forward and cup his face softly with on hand, before pressing a tender kiss to his lips. “I was. We both were. Not anymore. Come back to bed now – or follow me to the kitchen.”

He should be saying no. To protect Steve from himself, the secrets and anything the world wanted to throw at him.

Registration was still a danger Tony couldn't ignore. Not with everything he'd done, not with everything that was happening around them, not with SHIELD's instability, not with the world out to get them... But his hand came up to loosen the tie he'd put on mere minutes ago, as if Extremis had decided this course of action before Tony had even realized the matter was decided.

“Bed,” he whispered and let Steve take his hand and lead him back to the bedroom, all the while thinking that Steve deserved the truth, that Tony didn't deserve his trust, but that the truth would put a strain on Steve that he didn't need now.

 _It'll be fine,_ Tony lied to himself with the ease of practice. _As long as you stay on top of your game and spin it to your advantage before it gets out of hand all will be fine. As long as you two are together, who would even dare to cross you?_

He curled up again with Steve under the blankets, their hands clasped together tightly, briefly remembering how they'd ended up here: the nightmarish vision of Steve being crushed by an Iron Man armor.

 _It's fine. Steve's save. And you can protect him and your friends. He's alive and safe. That's all that counts._ And maybe when the dust around the registration plans had settled, Tony would have time to work more on the man inside the the Iron Man, so he'd deserve all this. 

Steve watched him drift off to sleep this time, never releasing Tony's hand. Whatever tomorrow brought, Tony could face it as long as Steve was safe and remained untouched by all this. If fighting a political war from the inside was what it took to keep Steve from getting dragged into it, he was ready to do it.

He'd do anything to make sure Steve was alright.

Even stop his own heart.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me for fic updates on [tumblr](https://navaanwrites.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/navaanwrites). This fic has a post on the tumblr [here](https://navaanwrites.tumblr.com/post/171848548800/a-sense-of-calm-the-before-the-storm-remix) in case you want to share it.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [This Is No M'aidez [The Shame Remix]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13620750) by [Kiyaar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiyaar/pseuds/Kiyaar)




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